Running Has Made Me a Better Psychologist (and Here’s Why)

I started running in 2010 and quickly fell in love with the sport. I was deep in the throes of the third year of my doctoral training in psychology, a grueling seven year journey. While I had enjoyed other forms of exercise (#cardioqueen on the elliptical) for many years prior, I quickly fell in love with the simultaneous ease and challenge of running.

Running felt logistically easy in that I did not need to drive to a gym, join a boutique studio, or buy a bunch of equipment to do it. This felt especially important during a phase of my life in which I was chronically short on free time and money. I just laced up my shoes and ran out the door, which felt like freedom.

I quickly embraced the challenges of running. I decided that my first race would be a 15k, since I knew I could run the 5k distance already. I loved the linear, progressive nature of a training plan: just do a little more each week, and you become stronger and more capable. The black-or-white aspects of training appealed to me greatly as a juxtaposition to the decidedly not black-or-white aspects of graduate school for psychology, where “it depends” and “tolerating ambiguity” were phrases used daily.

Do a little more, run a little farther, take care of yourself along the way, and witness the progress unfold. I was hooked.

Since I became a runner (which I define as “anyone who runs”), I’ve run about 10 marathons, many half marathons, and a handful of ultramarathons — including a 50 mile run.

I graduated with my doctorate in 2014 and really fell in love with distance running in 2015 or so. I found myself with larger swaths of free time after completing my post-doctoral training year. My love of running and identity as a runner has grown and transformed alongside my professional identity as a psychologist. The two are deeply intertwined for me; I can’t imagine one without the other.

Here are some ways that running has shaped me into the psychologist I am today.

Running has helped me prioritize caring for my physical body

I’ve always prioritized the “long game” of running over the short-term. Instead of constantly chasing new PRs and flashy accomplishments, my true end game is to continue running as long as possible — ideally into older adulthood, if I’m so lucky.

To that end, one must prioritize the basics:

• Quality sleep

• Physical rest

• Mental rest

• Stress management

• Nutrition (eat well and eat often)

• Limit alcohol use

Of course, I am a human and definitely botch all of these sometimes. Also, there’s often only so much we can actually control (especially when it comes to stress).

The more I take care of myself as a runner, the more I take care of myself as a human— and all of these things help me feel more balanced, present, and aware as a psychologist.

You don’t want a sleep deprived, hangry therapist — trust me!

Running has helped me build tolerance for discomfort

I am someone who enjoys tackling new challenges and adventures, which means that I willfully step outside my comfort zone. I’ve built comfort in discomfort by flexing my “willingness muscle.” Over the years of being a runner, I have felt all shades of discomfort— physical, mental, and emotional.

A few years ago, I did a 30 mile adventure run at Mt. Rainier National Park with a friend. This route has something like 9,000 feet of elevation gain (and loss!). As we were halfway up the final climb of several thousand feet, I felt my energy reserves drain and hit the wall mentally. My legs hurt, my feet hurt, and I was over it.

But there was no escape button. There was no bail out point. The only way to finish was to keep going for another 10 miles or so.

I told my friend, “I don’t feel good, and that’s okay. Nothing is broken or wrong, it’s just hard. It’s okay for it to be hard.”

This lived experience helps me empathize with my clients. I understand how hard it is to make big life changes, and I know the range of emotions that can arise when we swing and miss. Everything I’ve learned about myself as a runner can be applied to other parts of my life, and I frequently lean on lessons learned from running in my clinical work.

Running helps me tolerate the mundane

Sure, running 40 miles across Joshua Tree National Park is glamorous… and much of running is not glamorous:

• Stretching (ew)

• Foam rolling

• PT exercises

• Truly insane amounts of laundry

• Meal planning, cooking, and so many dishes

• Runs where the weather sucks and you just don’t want to do it

• And so on

Similarly, there are some glamorous aspects of practicing psychology (supporting someone as they make profound changes in their life is truly one of the greatest gifts of my life)… but there are many unglamorous aspects of being a psychologist in private practice:

• Documentation

• Figuring out how the heck to do business taxes

• Bookkeeping

• Filing for business licenses

• Web design

• Keeping track of a million tiny administrative details and trying not to mess any of it up

• Feeling stupid when you inevitably mess up a tiny administrative detail

Running has shaped my appreciation for the mundane. There’s no shortcut around it; these are tasks that must be done if you want to access the good parts. Leaning on my years of experience “doing the thing even when I don’t feel like it” as a runner helps me tackle these tasks in my practice as a psychologist.

Running helps me process stress and grief

(This picture is from a backpacking trip, but whatever)

I don’t view running as an “escape.” It’s my time to tune in, not zone out. Running gives me designated time in my day to sort out, process, and sit with heavy emotions and thoughts. I gain clarity from running.

This helps me as a psychologist as I am able to sort out my internal reactions to a long clinical day (yep, therapists think about their clients outside of session). I am also able to manage stress from my personal life so I don’t bring it into session (again, I’m human so I do the best I can here, and it’s not always perfect).

Running also just makes me happy, which is reason enough

We can’t go “all in” on any one part of life. Having purpose in my life outside of work has been huge for me. It helps me come back to work with fresh ideas, perspective, and energy.

Thank you for reading!

Dealing with Climate Change Anxiety

If you live in or near a mountainous state, you know that this has been an exceptionally mild winter with historically low snowpack. Within my my circle of outdoor enthusiast friends here in the Pacific Northwest, palpable fear is mounting.

What does this mean for summer?

Will we be doomed for another difficult wildfire season?

Will the AQI dictate our mountain run plans yet again?

This fear extends far beyond the immediate concern for the upcoming season and summer plans.

‍ ‍Will every summer be like this from here on out?

What kind of planet will be here for my kids when they get old?

Are we doomed?

I write this blog post not as a weather or climate change expert, but as a psychologist who understands anxiety, an outdoor athlete impacted by climate change, and as a human being who shares these same fears.

First, let’s normalize feeling anxious about climate change.

We are biologically wired as humans to experience fear and anxiety in response to dangerous and/or life-threatening situations. Anxiety is a normal, healthy emotion that serves a protective function in high-risk situations. The human mind has evolved not only to respond to danger in the present moment, but also to predict and anticipate danger in the future.

Climate change poses a real, immediate risk to our safety and the safety of, well, everyone and everything on the planet.

Feeling anxious in response to real, immediate risks is a healthy nervous system response.

Let’s also normalize feeling helpless.

As humans, we are natural “fixers.” We love nothing more than to solve a problem, find a solution, get rid of an issue, or make something better.

This works great for problems that can actually be solved.

However, when we face an enormous, complex problem such as climate change, we also are confronted with the reality that there’s no single solution that any of us as individuals can implement.

Experiencing distress in response to an complex, not-immediately-fixable problem is a healthy nervous system response.

That being said, there are some things that can help us understand and cope with climate change anxiety.

It’s important to understand the difference between pain and suffering.

Pain (emotional/mental/psychological) is an inevitable part of the human experience. We cannot skirt through life without experiencing pain. There’s no shortcut around it. If you are a living, breathing human — congratulations, you’ve got pain.

The extent to which pain is accompanied by suffering depends on your mental and behavioral response to the pain.

In this example:

‍ ‍Pain = climate change anxiety

‍ ‍Suffering = all the stuff you do in response to your anxiety that might help temporarily, but actually makes the anxiety much worse (spiraling, doom scrolling, self-criticizing, obsessing, drinking alcohol, zoning out, etc.)

A place to begin is to ask yourself these questions:

What am I doing when I feel anxious about climate change?

What do I say to myself when I feel anxious? Am I being kind?

How can I take care of my anxiety in a calm and loving way?

Check the cognitive distortions.

When anxiety is hogging the microphone, it says all kinds of unhelpful (and not true) things:

The worst case scenario WILL happen and it will happen NOW.

The problem needs to be solved NOW or not at all.

There’s NOTHING I CAN DO to effect change.

When these unhelpful thoughts happen, take notice. Begin to practice taking a step back, checking it, and reworking the thought to be something more balanced or useful. (There’s a helpful phrase to remember this sequence: catch it, check it, change it).

This doesn’t mean that you should only have positive thoughts, because that’s also not helpful or realistic.

Get in the practice of reworking anxiety thoughts to something more balanced and in-the-middle.

There’s a chance that this summer will be a rough fire season, but there’s also the possibility for spring snow and summer rain.

Even if it’s a rough season, I’ll be able to cope through it.

It’s okay to feel stressed out about this.

Take notice of behaviors that are making your anxiety worse.

Sometimes the things we do in response to anxiety help really well in the short-term, but not so well in the long-run. Doom scrolling is one in particular that tends to just make us feel like garbage, especially in light of uncertainty.

It can be tough to strike a balance between protecting your peace and being informed. When you notice your anxiety spiking wildly, it’s probably time to put the phone down.

Just be here, right now.

When things start to feel overwhelming, come back to what’s true for you today.

Lean on activities that help put you back in your body and feel a sense of connection to the present.

Start a gratitude practice.

Do something physically indulgent.

Take some deep breaths.

Exercise.

The future will be the future, and uncertainty still exists, and we still deserve to be present in our life that’s happening right now.

Identify small action steps that can effect change.

We as individuals cannot solve the climate crisis, but individual actions do matter.

Come up with a list of actionable steps - things you can get started on right now. Things that will make an impact to someone in your life or your community.

These actions don’t even need to be directly related to climate change.

Go out of your way to hold the door open for someone

Donate blood.

Support a small business.

It feels good to feel a sense of agency during uncertain times.

When all else fails, lean on avoidance… but only for a little bit.

Avoidance is generally not a helpful coping skill in the long-run, but in the short-run? It does serve a function.

When the horrors of the world get to be too much, it’s okay to take a break.

Watch trashy TV.

Call your best friend and laugh until your stomach hurts.

Listen to millennial nostalgia music.

Get yourself a fancy coffee treat.

Do whatever it is that you need to do to take a pause and reset. Come back to the rest when you’re ready.

Reach out for support if you need it.

I’m here to help if you need support navigating life’s stressful times. Reach out to set up your free consultation call.

When Exercise Stops Helping Your Anxiety (and what to do when your go-to coping mechanism fails)

For many people, exercise is the gold-standard “dealing with anxiety” tool:

• Go for a run.

• Climb something hard.

• Ride until your thoughts quiet down.

• Sweat it out at hot yoga.

And for a long time, it works. Movement burns off excess adrenaline, regulates the nervous system, and offers a sense of control when anxiety thoughts feel chaotic. For some people who are active, exercise often becomes the primary way they cope.

So when anxiety shows up despite regular workouts, it can feel confusing, frustrating, and even a little scary.

“This used to help. Why isn’t it working anymore? What’s wrong with me?”

First: this doesn’t mean exercise “stopped working”

Exercise is a powerful tool; however, no single coping strategy works forever, in every season, or for every kind of stressor. When it stops helping, it’s not a personal failure or a sign that you’re “too anxious.”

Why exercise helps anxiety (until it doesn’t)

Exercise helps anxiety because it:

• Discharges stress hormones

• Regulates the nervous system

• Improves mood and sleep

• Provides focus and structure

• Offers relief from rumination and doom spirals

For many people, especially high achievers, it also provides:

• A sense of competence

• Control over the body

• A socially acceptable way to manage stress

But anxiety is adaptive—it changes. And life changes, too.

Reasons exercise stops helping anxiety

1. Anxiety is more than physical symptoms

Anxiety is often driven by excess arousal: racing heart, tension, restlessness. Exercise helps burn that off.

But anxiety may also include:

• Uncertainty

• Struggling to find purpose or meaning

• Chronic worry

• Existential questions

• Ongoing life stress

You can run 10 miles and still lie awake at night worrying about your aging parents, your job, or the future.

2. Exercise has become an avoidance strategy

This one is tender.

Movement can help regulate anxiety and also be a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions:

• Sadness

• Anger

• Grief

• Fear

• Ambivalence

If exercise is the onlyway you cope, anxiety may get louder when your body slows down. And we know that avoidance works great… until it doesn’t. I think about it like holding a beach ball under water. You need more and more force to hold it under, only to have it come popping back up to the surface the moment we let up.

3. Your nervous system is already maxed out

For some people, especially endurance athletes, intense training can add stress rather than relieve it.

This is particularly true when:

• Sleep is poor

• Life stress is high

• Recovery is insufficient

Intense training in the context of other life stressors can become a stressor in itself.

4. Injury, aging, or life changes limit access

When your main coping tool becomes less available due to injury, time constraints, or physical changes, anxiety often spikes.

Not because you’re fragile, but because your needs, abilities, and capacity can change over time.

5. Anxiety is asking for integration, not discharge

Exercise is a way that we can discharge stress. But anxiety needs to be understood and processed, not just outrun.

What not to do when exercise stops helping

• Assume you’re broken

• Double down on intensity

• Shame yourself for “needing more”

• Give up on movement altogether

Instead, widen the lens.

What to do when your go-to coping tool fails

1. Expand your coping repertoire (don’t replace it)

Think “and,” not “instead.”

Exercise can remain part of your coping tools, but it can’t be the only part.

Other regulation tools might include:

• Breathing and mindfulness skills

• Slower, gentler movement

• Time outdoors without performance goals

• Expressive writing or journaling

• Playing an instrument or listening to music

• Taking a hot bath or shower

• Cold plunging (if you’re into that)

• Talking things through (with a therapist or another trusted person)

2. Get curious about what the anxiety is pointing to

Ask yourself:

• What feels uncertain right now?

• What am I avoiding feeling?

• What changed recently?

Anxiety often escalates when values, identity, or life direction are in flux.

3. Learn to sit with discomfort in small doses

If exercise has always been your escape hatch, tolerating stillness can feel unbearable at first.

It’s normal to feel distress in new or unfamiliar situations.

Start small:

• Two minutes of stillness

• Naming emotions without fixing

• Letting the wave pass without acting

All we need to do is take baby steps.

4. Differentiate discipline from self-punishment

Movement can be another way to override your limits.

Ask:

• Am I listening to my body or silencing it?

• Would I advise a close friend to do what I’m doing right now?

The answer here matters.

Some closing thoughts

Exercise can still be a wonderful coping skill on which to fall back.

But your nervous system might be asking for a more nuanced, integrated approach. One that includes movement and meaning. Regulation and reflection. It’s not an either/or, but a both/and.

Therapy can be a way to explore these patterns in greater depth and to learn new approaches for managing stress and anxiety. If you’re interested in exploring what therapy with me could look like, please reach out to schedule your initial consult call.

Burnout or Depression? How to Tell the Difference

If you’re exhausted, unmotivated, and wondering why you feel this way, you’re not alone. Many people, especially high-achieving people in midlife, struggle to tell whether they’re experiencing burnout, depression, or some combination of both.

From the outside, burnout and depression can look very similar: low energy, irritability, disconnection, and a sense that life feels heavy and overwhelming. While burnout and depression can overlap, they’re not the same. Understanding the difference matters, because each has different solutions.

This post explores burnout and depression through an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) lens, focusing less on labels and more on how your inner experience has narrowed—and how it can widen again.

Why Burnout and Depression Are Confused

Burnout isn’t a formal mental health diagnosis, but it’s a very real experience. It tends to develop in response to chronic, unrelenting stress, especially when demands outweigh recovery for a long period of time.

Depression, on the other hand, is a clinical condition that affects mood, motivation, energy, and thinking patterns — to the point that they interfere with everyday life.

The confusion happens because both can involve:

• Exhaustion that doesn’t resolve with rest

• Loss of motivation or pleasure

• Irritability or emotional numbing

• Difficulty concentrating

• A sense of disconnection, as if you’re just going through the motions in daily life

Burnout: When Life Becomes Too Narrow

Burnout often shows up when life becomes overly demand-driven.

You may notice:

• You feel depleted specifically in relation to work, caregiving, a major life change, and/or a particular role

• Time off helps temporarily, but the relief doesn’t last

• You feel cynical, detached, or resentful about responsibilities that once mattered

• Your world has shrunk to obligations and survival mode

• Activities that normally fill your cup are starting to feel exhausting and stressful

From an ACT lens, burnout is often associated with values erosion. You’re still functioning, but much of what you do is about white knuckling through the day rather than feeling present and engaged in your everyday life.

You may still feel enjoyment or connection in some areas of life… but accessing them takes effort, and they’re increasingly crowded out by responsibility.

Depression: When Disconnection Spreads Everywhere

Depression tends to be more global. It doesn’t just affect one role or setting; it seeps into many areas of life.

Common experiences include:

• A persistent sense of heaviness, emptiness, or numbness

• Loss of interest in things that once mattered - abandoning hobbies, relationships, or daily responsibilities

• Harsh self-judgment (“I’m failing,” “I should be better than this”)

• Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy

• Feeling stuck, hopeless, or disconnected from meaning

Things pile up. Everything becomes overwhelming. Life starts to feel less flexible. Choices become driven by avoiding discomfort rather than moving toward values.

Burnout vs Depression

Here’s a simplified way to think about it:

• Burnout is often situational and role-specific, rooted in chronic stressors.

• Depression is more pervasive and disabling, affecting how you relate to yourself, others, and the future.

That said, burnout can turn into depression, especially when someone feels trapped, unsupported, or unable to make meaningful changes.

And depression can coexist with burnout, making it harder to identify where one ends and the other begins.

How Therapy from an ACT perspective Can Help:

ACT doesn’t aim to eliminate uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. Instead, it helps you:

• Build psychological flexibility

• Change your relationship with distress

• Be more present in your daily life (breaking out of autopilot)

• Reconnect with values, even when things feel hard

Rather than asking, Is this burnout or depression?, ACT asks:

• What am I avoiding because it feels too painful or overwhelming?

• What thoughts am I getting stuck in?

• How far have I drifted from what matters to me?

• What small, values-based steps are still possible?

What Helps Burnout

When burnout is the primary driver, helpful therapeutic work caninclude:

• Identifying values that have been overshadowed by obligation

• Creating boundaries that support sustainability, not perfection

• Making space for rest that is restorative, not just recovery

• Practicing saying “no” or “not right now” without excessive guilt

The goal isn’t to push harder, but to widen your life beyond constant demand.

What Helps Depression

When depression is present, therapeutic support can involve:

• Increasing awareness of self-critical or hopeless thought patterns

• Learning to make room for painful emotions without shutting down

• Gaining awareness of how you respond to your thoughts and emotions

• Rebuilding connection through small, intentional actions

• Clarifying what matters most in this phase of life, and taking small steps towards your values

Progress here can be non-linear: showing up imperfectly, staying present a little longer, taking one step even when your mind says it won’t matter.

When to Seek Support

If exhaustion, numbness, or disconnection have become your baseline and has been getting in the way of work, taking care of yourself, relationships, or other important parts of life, it may be time to talk with a mental health professional.

You don’t need to be in crisis. You don’t need a definitive label. You just need space to understand what’s happening and support to move forward differently.

If you’d like to schedule a free 15 minute consult call to explore what therapy with me might look like, please reach out via my contact form.

Taming the Backcountry Jitters

Embarking on a mountain adventure of any duration means stepping into new territory, both mentally and physically. It’s normal to feel a mix of excitement and nerves, whether that’s in training or on the trip itself. Along the way, you might question yourself, your abilities, or what the heck you’re doing on the edge of a glaciated mountain at 4am. 

It’s important to understand that anxiety is a normal, healthy part of being human. We are wired to have anxiety in situations that are perceived as dangerous or life-threatening. When all goes as intended, anxiety serves a protective function to keep us safe via the fight-or-flight response, which is the body’s automatic way of conserving resources by fighting or fleeing threats. 

This normal, adaptive response system can go haywire when we are faced with new or uncomfortable situations, such as wearing crampons for the first time or climbing through the night. Anxiety skyrockets when we overestimate the likelihood of danger while underscoring our ability to cope. We might have other reactions to the anxiety itself (“what’s wrong with me for feeling this way”) which can kick anxious thoughts into overdrive. 

Luckily, there are many ways of managing anxiety so it does not have such a strong hold on you. While you might still always have some degree of anxiety in the backcountry, it doesn’t have to ruin your adventure. 

Here are some practical tools for calming the backcountry jitters:

I summited Mt. Rainier in 2019 and had plenty of backcountry jitters that day.

Understand what anxiety looks like for you. Anxiety manifests a little differently for everyone. What are your warning signs? Perhaps it’s negative thoughts, irritability, breathing changes, or a tightness in your chest. When you understand your specific warning signs, you have the opportunity to take a step back, evaluate, and put coping skills into practice before anxiety escalates to a panic. 

Breathing skills. I cannot overstate the benefits of intentional breathing for managing anxiety. Your breath is the only physical function that you can directly control, and it is your anchor to the here-and-now. 

Box breathing can be especially helpful – inhale to the count of four, hold for four seconds, exhale for four, pause for four. Repeat this continually for a few minutes. Start practicing this in the days or weeks before your climb so that you use this reflexively when you start to feel anxious. You can also pair your breath count with steps to get your mind and body in sync. 

Even better, pair the inhale and exhale with a personal mantra that feels grounding or reassuring, such as “I can do hard things” or “one step at a time.” 

Control the controllables. Anxiety catapults us into the future, forcing us to think about “what-ifs” instead of “right nows.” While it can indeed be helpful (even life-saving) to be prepared for potential outcomes, it’s equally important to be focused on the step in front of you - literally, the step you are taking. 

When anxiety starts to spiral, take a breath and identify one or two actions that you need to do right now – you’ll get to the rest when it’s time. 

Label it and share it with someone. I envision anxiety like holding a beach ball underwater, especially when mixed with other emotions such as embarrassment or shame. It requires an increasing amount of focus and pressure to keep it under the surface, yet it shoots up anyways. Giving it a name (“I am feeling anxious”) without judgment is like letting some air out. Sharing how you are feeling with a teammate is a way to let the air out even further. Your team is there to support you!

Remember your “why.” You took time out of your busy schedule to be on the mountain, likely at the expense of other important parts of life (work, family time, etc). What are your reasons for being on the mountain aside from the summit? Remembering your “why” during moments of distress can remind you that it’s not just about how you feel in that moment – it’s part of a larger journey. As a bonus, every struggle you face on the mountain will make it a better story to share later. 

Anxiety shows up for everyone on the mountain, from novices to experienced athletes. Anxiety is not a sign of weakness; it’s simply part of taking on new challenges outside of your comfort zone. It’s important to nurture your mental health during big adventures, just as you would your physical health.

With the right care and attention, anxiety can be something that you work with instead of against on your next adventure. And remember– everything you learn about yourself on the mountain can be applied to other parts of life. 

This post was originally published on the Alpine Ascents blog, and has been modified slightly.

Realistic Goal Setting for 2026

A New Year is upon us, which means we’re barraged by messaging around resolutions, goal-setting, and transformation. For those already feeling overwhelmed and stuck (especially following the sprint pace of the holidays), this can feel like yet another uphill battle.

If you’ve ever set a goal with genuine intention only to abandon it a few days or weeks later, you’re not failing. You’re human. And you may need a goal-setting framework that honors your capacity, season of life, and is actually do-able with everything else on your already full plate.

The key with setting realistic, do-able goals is to think SMART.

This framework is a method to go about making changes in a way that doesn’t add unnecessary pressure— you’ve got enough of that already!

What Are SMART Goals?

SMART goals are:

• Specific

• Measurable

• Achievable

• Relevant

• Time-bound

Specific

Instead of:
“I want to take better care of myself this year.”

Try:
“I want to take a 20-minute walk three mornings a week.”

Specific goals reduce mental load since you’re not constantly negotiating with yourself about what “better” means. Specific goals are easier to achieve because they give us an action plan. It’s easy to keep putting off a vague goal.

Break things down into small steps, then start chipping away at it. If you set the initial goal as something super manageable, you start to break down the mental barrier around getting started. You might also find you start to do a little extra (i.e., walk for 25 min when the goal was 20) because of momentum.

Even better, put your specific goal on your calendar and protect it just as you would an important work meeting or a medical appointment for your kiddo.

Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t complete the goal as you intended. Even getting out for 5 or 10 minutes is better than nothing, and small steps add up. If you’re finding the goal is too much for this season of life, readjust to something more manageable.

Measurable

We want your goal to be as measurable as possible so it’s clear if progress is happening.

For example:

• Number of walks taken this week

• Ounces of water you drank today

• Number of times you took your medication as prescribed this week

• Number of days you went to bed before 11pm this week

• Number of days you logged off work by a certain time

Measurement creates structure. When you can see your progress, it’s easier to adjust your plan and keep moving forward. You’re not looking for perfection (any step forward counts!). Action creates motivation, which creates momentum to keep going.

Achievable

Ask yourself: Is this doable within my actual energy, responsibilities, and nervous system capacity?

Midlife often includes caregiving, career demands, grief, health changes, or simply less tolerance for BS.

You are probably an ambitious person, and it’s great to have longer-term goals. However, even longer-term goals start with small steps.

Just as you can’t summit Rainier in one giant leap, the same is true for goals. It’s the accumulation of many, many small steps along the way.

Achievable goals stretch you slightly, but not to the point of collapse.

If it’s not possible to work out 4-5x per week in this season of life, let’s not set that as a goal. Maybe 1-2x per week is more realistic. Leave the judgment at the door about what it means that you can only do XYZ but previously you did 4x that amount.

Any step is a step forward!

Relevant

A goal can look great on paper and still be wrong for this season of life.

Before committing, ask:

• Does this align with my values?

• Am I doing this because I want it, or because I think I “should”?

• Will this support my mental health?

• When I think about this goal, how does it feel inside my body? Do I feel excitement or dread?

Time-Bound

Deadlines can help, but they don’t need to be harsh. We are much more likely to follow through with goals if we can get started right away. If we have to wait for something (or someone) to change, we might be waiting a long time. And the longer you wait, the more life gets in the way.

So, ask yourself: what can I do to get going on this goal now?

Examples of Mental-Health–Friendly SMART Goals

Goal: I’m going to identify three potential therapists by searching online, and email them to inquire about services.

Goal: I’m going to lift weights twice a week at the YMCA during my lunch break (20 minutes).

Goal: I’m going to walk at least 8,000 steps a day on work days.

Goal: I’m going to reach out to friends at least twice a week by text message to check in and stay connected.

Goal: I am going to put my smart phone on the charger across the room and read a book instead at least 3x per week.

Final Thoughts

As we move into 2026, remember that meaningful change doesn’t come from pushing harder.

The solution to “the grind” isn’t more grinding.

Meaningful change comes from choosing goals that fit your life as it is right now.

SMART goals can offer structure and direction, but the real work is deciding what’s worth your energy.

You don’t need a complete overhaul to move forward. Small, intentional, consistent steps can create steady, sustainable growth.

Little by little. You’ve got this!

Am I Having a Midlife Crisis?

If you’ve found yourself asking ChatGPT this question at 2am, you aren’t alone.

Many individuals reach midlife (loosely defined as ages 40-60) and find themselves questioning everything, even if everything in life seems “fine” on a macro-level. Midlife is a time of prolific change and transition. Life transitions can kick up existential questions of “what’s next” and “is this really how I want to be going about my life?”

Life has a way of throwing us curveballs, and changes don’t typically happen one-at-a-time — they happen all at once, or overlap with each other before any stressor actually resolves.

It’s no wonder that folks in midlife often feel overwhelmed, stuck, and fantasize about burning down their lives.

Some common transitions in midlife include:

Midlife brings about transitions whether we want them or not. While it may seem unclear, there is always a path forward!

• Entering a new phase of parenting (i.e., kids are now teenagers)

• Becoming an empty nester

• Aging parents

• Being more advanced in your career (perhaps you’ve taken on a leadership or management position)

• Divorce or separation

• Perimenopause and menopause

• Changes in health and functional abilities

Rather than a sudden meltdown, midlife stress can show up as:

• Feeling like you’re going through the motions of life (and doing what needs to get done) but not really present or enjoying anything

• Snapping at your partner and/or kids, and feeling bad about it later

• Fantasizing about a less complicated phase of your life, or asking yourself what life might be like if you had never made XYZ decision

• Tossing and turning all night with racing thoughts

• Feeling disconnected from other people

Why this phase can feel so intense

Earlier in life, we’re often focused on expanding—careers, families, relationships.

Midlife invites a different task: alignment. You’re no longer asking Who should I become? but Who am I now, and what matters most?

That shift can be uncomfortable, especially for high-achievers or those used to having “it all figured out.”

It’s important to know that asking yourself these deep questions is is a normal, healthy part of development.

Values are compass points in our lives that give us direction. Values are qualities that are meaningful to us and ways we aspire to be (i.e., honesty, integrity, compassionate). Values are personally chosen (no one can tell you what your values are) and driven by life experience.

Sometimes values shift and change during seasons of stress, loss, or transition.

Sometimes we realize that the things that mattered to us before don’t matter as much during a new phase of life.

And sometimes, the things we do to cope with stress (scrolling, alcohol use, shopping, canceling plans) end up pulling us farther away from our values and what matters most.

When we live life in alignment with our values, it creates a deep sense of purpose, meaning, and joy.

So the task at hand in midlife is to slow down, break out of autopilot, and look inwards.

What actually helps during a midlife transition

You don’t need to blow up your life to move forward. Small, intentional steps matter:

• Create space to reflect rather than react

• Notice what drains you (be specific- relationships, activities, etc.)

• Notice what activities fill your cup, and how this feels in your body and emotions

• Write down your top 3-5 core values and brainstorm actions that are in alignment with these values

• Think about a previous chapter of life when things felt more in alignment. What were you doing differently then, and what can you weave into this current phase of life?

• Be gentle with yourself- you don’t need to have all the answers or a perfect action plan right away

• Talk it through with a professional trained to help you make sense of the transition

A reframe to consider

Instead of wondering if you’re having a “midlife crisis,” what if we framed this instead as an invitation?

This phase of life has a way of illuminating what’s no longer working for you and what needs to change. With curiosity, compassion, and the right support, midlife doesn’t need to be a black hole of stress. It can be an opportunity to turn towards more alignment, clarity, and meaning as you step into this next chapter of life.

Coping with Seasonal Depression

Let’s be honest, winter is a time where many of us struggle with our mental health— especially here in the Pacific Northwest, where I reside. Short, dark days, foul weather, and a dormant social life can take a number on our mood. Seasonal mood changes are normal, and maintaining mental health can take an extra bit of care and attention this time of year. Here are some strategies for improving mood during the darkest time of year.

Tips for coping with seasonal depression:

Sometimes we don’t see the sun in the PNW for days or weeks at a time, so I make sure to get outside for fresh air and Vitamin D when I can

1) Get outside every day, no matter what the weather is doing. It might not always feel enjoyable during the activity itself, but even a few minutes of fresh air and daylight exposure can benefit your mind and body.

2) Give yourself options for things to do in the evening at home that don’t involve screen time (puzzles, crafts, learn a new language, play an instrument, home projects, etc). Engaging in productivity can lift spirits, and doing a variety of activities helps to break up monotonous routines.

3) Keep up with exercise (bonus points if it’s outside!). Break up all-or-nothing thoughts around how long you need to exercise to receive the benefits. A short 15 minute walk or a 5 minute stretching/yoga session can boost mood.

4) Lean into making your home space as cozy as possible so that you look forward to being in that space.

5) Start to get excited about adventures, trips, or other activities in the new year. Engage in some reflection and goal-setting. The anticipation of a pleasant event is often just as exciting as the event itself. Have something to look forward to in the new year.

6) Stay connected with your friends, even when you don’t feel like getting out of the house. Keep in mind that you’ll likely feel better once you are there. Set the bar low for yourself and avoid overcommitting to too many things.

7) Understand that seasonal mood changes are normal— our mental health goes through seasons just like anything else. It’s okay to have a period where you are less active. The extra rest is beneficial for both your mind and body.

8) Try something new, whether that’s a sport, hobby, coffee shop, walking path, or something different. Novelty helps break up unhelpful thinking patterns and stagnant emotions.

If you find yourself struggling with depression to the extent that it’s causing a lot of distress or getting in the way of things at work/school, at home, or in relationships, it may be beneficial to connect with a professional such as myself to explore therapy options. Treatments such as Behavioral Activation, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy are all evidence-based therapy options for depression, and can help with seasonal mood changes. Contact me to get started.