How to Deal with the Sunday Scaries
Fighting the Sunday Scaries? Read On.
You know how it goes.
Friday takes forever to arrive. Once it does, there is a rush of excitement and relief.
Saturday zips by all too quick, and suddenly you find yourself bumping up to the weekend’s end.
You wake up on Sunday with a knot in your stomach.
Your thoughts spiral around to the pile of work waiting for you in the morning.
You look around at piles of laundry and an empty fridge, and immediately feel overwhelmed.
You wonder why you can’t just relax and enjoy the weekend like everyone else seems to be doing.
A visual depiction of how the Sunday Scaries can feel
What are the Sunday Scaries?
The Sunday Scaries are the feelings of pervasive dread, anticipatory anxiety, and sadness surrounding the end of the weekend and the transition back to life routines on Monday. For many, the Sunday Scaries marks the end of the most enjoyable, freeing part of the week and the return to “real life.” People in midlife may feel especially prone to Sunday Scaries, as there just simply are not enough hours in the day for all of life’s responsibilties.
Coping with Sunday Scaries
Here’s the thing – it’s not the Sunday Scaries themselves that derail the end of your weekend. How you respond to them dictates what happens next.
Do you try to avoid the knot in your stomach by laying in bed scrolling social media until 11am?
Do you skip your workout to take back a sense of agency and freedom?
Do you stay up way past your bedtime watching Netflix to put off reality a little longer?
These coping strategies can work well in the moment – and are sometimes necessary to make it through stressful times. The key is to understand how these coping methods are working for you in the short-run… and the long-run.
Does the dread actually go away, or does it just get worse?
The good news is that there’s a different way to approach Sunday evenings, and here’s how.
Separate Feelings from Facts
Emotions are a messy, complex, and beautiful part of being human. They give us information, prepare us for action, and point to what matters. Emotions give life meaning and distinguish us from robots.
And… emotions are not facts, even if they feel that way.
Anxiety has a tricky way of convincing us that the worst-case scenario will happen: that things will be terrible, that we won’t be able to cope, and that everything is about to fall apart. Anxiety can be a very real and intense emotion, without being an accurate prediction about what will happen.
“This week is going to be a disaster” is an emotion-driven thought.
“I have six hours of meetings tomorrow” is a fact.
Try this: the next time the Sunday Scaries hits, write a list of feelings and thoughts, and a list of facts about the week ahead (i.e., what’s actually on your schedule). Writing can feel cathartic and gives you a fresh perspective on what’s driving the dread and anxiety.
More often than not, the facts are a lot less scary than the feelings made them out to be – even if they are unpleasant (who likes six hours of meetings?).
Two Steps to Make Monday Feel Easier
I know how it goes at the end of a full weekend: there’s no groceries, the laundry is overflowing, the house is a mess, and you are in desperate need of some vegetables. It feels totally overwhelming to think about jumping back into a work week when you could really use another two days just to catch up on life.
Making an action plan can help, and you don’t need to overhaul your life to get there. Choose one or two small action steps that will make life even 5% easier in the week ahead. Get as specific as possible:
Set a timer for 30 minutes and clean up the apartment.
Schedule a grocery pick-up for after work Monday.
Meal prep one or two dinners for the week.
Set aside one evening to get a few things done around the house.
You probably won’t ever feel totally caught up on the to-do list – that’s a fact of life. And yet, action is the antidote to overthinking.
Step Away from Your Phone to Quiet the Sunday Scaries
I can comfortably run a mile in about nine minutes. It amazes me how long those nine minutes can feel; sometimes, it feels like a whole hour has passed (in a good way!). It feels like a total system reboot. I feel energized, alive, and back in my physical body.
At the same time, nine minutes of screen time zips by in mere seconds. Time distorts in opposite directions depending on where our attention goes.
Sunday Scaries thrive on screen time. Doom scrolling when you already feel anxious is like throwing gasoline on the fire of feeling bad.
Break the cycle of dread and screen time by taking an intentional break. Turn your phone on silent for an hour or log out of social media altogether. Better yet, get away from screens altogether by going out for a walk, ride, or simply just sit outside for a while. Nature automatically brings us back to the here and now, which diverts our focus away from the future.
Plan One Thing to Look Forward to This Week
So far in this piece I’ve been harping on the importance of being present, but the truth is that sometimes we need to look to the future to cope. When we have something on the schedule that is fun and exciting, we not only get pleasure from the activity itself – we also get pleasure from anticipating the activity.
And, life can’t be all work with no play. Yes, it feels nice to have meals prepped and laundry done, but we also need to counterbalance labor with enjoyment.
Combat the Sunday Scaries by making sure you have at least one activity that you feel genuine excitement about in the next week. It does not need to be anything complicated or expensive; it just needs to be something you enjoy.
Examples:
Happy hour with a friend
Stop by a new bookstore on the way home
Catch a sunset at the beach
Take dinner outside and plan a picnic somewhere you haven’t been
FaceTime your best friend
Pay Attention to what the Sunday Scaries are Telling You
Everyone inevitably experiences some degree of Sunday Scaries – if given the choice between responsibilities or no responsibilities, most of us would choose the latter at least sometimes.
If your Sunday Scaries feel more like a deafening roar rather than a quiet whisper, it might be time to take a step back and explore what it might be pointing to:
A job that no longer feels tolerable
A deep need for more time alone
A need for adventure and spontaneity
A domestic load that feels completely unbalanced
More time at home and less time on the road
Whatever it might be, take some time to examine what the feelings might be telling you. You may not be able to make changes right now, but acknowledging them and creating space to explore is an excellent starting point.
Support is Available
If you find yourself wanting support in making sense of what your Sunday Scaries are telling you, that's exactly the kind of work we can do together in therapy. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about what therapy with me could look like.
Frequently Asked Questions
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The Sunday Scaries are triggered by the transition from weekend freedom back to weekday responsibilities. The dread often gets worse through how we respond to it (i.e., avoidance, overthinking, or catastrophizing about the week ahead).
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For most people, Sunday Scaries are a temporary wave of anxiety that peaks Sunday evening and eases once the week actually begins. If the dread persists throughout the week or feels more like a constant low hum than an occasional wave, it may be worth exploring what's underneath it.
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Sunday Scaries are common and don't necessarily indicate a mental health diagnosis. Most people experience some version of them. That said, if the feeling is intense, frequent, or interferes with daily functioning, it may be worth talking to a therapist such as myself to explore what's going on.
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Small, concrete strategies can help: separating anxious thoughts from facts, taking one or two small action steps to prepare for the week, stepping away from screens, and planning something to look forward to this week. If the Sunday Scaries feel overwhelming week after week, it may be a signal worth examining what’s going on, rather than just managing.
Author Bio
Dr. Annie Mueller is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Summerland Psychology, a private practice serving adults in Washington and PSYPACT states via telehealth. Her work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, life transitions, and supporting athletes and high-performing individuals.